very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
