Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
