Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The adults are the big ones right?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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