It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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