At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
