Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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