First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
