I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
