watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize