Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I currently don't understand fingers.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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