I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
