woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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