I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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