Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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