one word: firstdatebathroomanal
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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