I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
