If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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