Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
