Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
