My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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