drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
