You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
