I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You made out with two different species that night
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
