god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Semen is not good for contacts.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
