Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
