Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
