Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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