I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
