barbara walters just said penis...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
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Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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