All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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