Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
