I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i was born a porn star she said
I feel great
I just peed on a car
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize