can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Is Oprah even human
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
