Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
