I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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