yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize