bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My ass is underappreciated
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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