people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
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stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
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Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I forget how to act sober
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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