just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
