How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
