You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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