youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize