loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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