idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
