Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
