playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
