what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
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Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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