Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
