Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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