Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
