ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize