a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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