Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
