dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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