Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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