ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
