butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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