between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
