it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
