my phone cant type all the emotion im having
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
